A little over a year ago, some dear friends moved away to pursue a new job opportunity. These friends, more like family, were our “people” - the ones who we’d known for a long time, knew us for who we really are, and were easy to be with. As with any change like this, we were both sad for us but excited for our pals.
Yet something deeper soon emerged shortly after they left. My husband and I looked up to find our spiritual community had entirely shifted. From moves to marriages, growing families to new job opportunities in new cities… it was a stark awakening that we, in many ways, were on our own. Their departure was the final domino to fall; it unveiled the truth that things had been changing for a long time. Suddenly, we felt isolated and vulnerable, yet weary to embark on new relationships. It felt overwhelming to “start over” so for a while we let ourselves drift. Our community shrunk and our spiritual health plateaued.
I think this is a shared phenomenon. You may have just graduated from college and started your new job, wondering how to make friends as an adult. You might be single and all your friends are now married, wondering how you connect now that life stages have shifted. You might be busy with little kids from morning to night, wondering when you’ll get a chance to have an adult conversation. Or maybe you are working hard in a career that you are passionate about but the hours are a detriment to your relationships. Our spiritual development gets caught up in the midst of these relational challenges, in our busy schedules and priorities, so we fend for ourselves, duking it out as best we can to grow on our own.
In the midst of this, we have a culture that daily shouts about the value of independence, self-sufficiency and personal achievement at all costs. We hide behind these things, even saying we prefer it this way. We raise the white flag of defeat. “This is just how it is,” we think to ourselves. Then we wonder why we are feeling spiritually weak, vulnerable, discouraged or tempted.
It’s not supposed to be this way.
The truth is that we each desire to know and be known. It is built into our DNA. We are made for communion with God and with others. Through Jesus' perfect life, sacrificial death, and miraculous resurrection, the communion that was broken because of sin is now restored for those who believe. Communion with God, yes, but also with each other. And this beauty often gets ignored or diluted.
Through Christ, we are saved from sin and then placed into a spiritual family. That is the flow, the process, the order. We are now children of God, with spiritual siblings, parents and grandparents to whom we are spiritually tied to through faith. This is a tremendous gift that most of us don’t fully unwrap. We cling to our independence above all else.
Yet to become more like Jesus and grow as a disciple is a family endeavor. We are disciples in a family of disciples. God designed it this way because there are things we can only learn from one another.
Gratefully, I’ve begun to rebuild my spiritual community after being plateaued for longer than I’d like to admit. It’s given life to my discipleship journey that only a year ago felt brittle and dry.
There is Trinity, a student in BASM and someone I consider a younger spiritual sister, who boldly walked up to me one Sunday and asked to spend time with me. I get to be with her joyful self and learn how to love the next generation. Our time holds me accountable to my own walk and spiritual disciplines.
There is Alexis, a friend who asked questions about faith, which I explored with her and Pastor Shawn Hart. I’m learning how to listen, trust God, and see Shawn at work at answering big questions of life and faith. It’s challenging me to know more scripture, ask thoughtful questions, and pray. What a relief to also witness and rely on a spiritual brother to show me how it’s done.
There is Sarah and Michele, who met weekly with me for a year to talk about life and faith. We held each other's sorrows and joys, prayed together, read scripture, and drank a lot of coffee. I learned how to show up regularly, laugh together, and be vulnerable about my life.
I could talk about the old friends I’ve recently reconnected with whose very presence makes me feel seen by God. I could mention the older sister figures I have on staff who I go to when I need a prayer or a laugh.
Without these spiritual sisters, mothers, brothers, fathers, I would still feel spiritually weak and tired. I get to see Jesus in each of these people and be shaped more into His likeness through their faith walk. Sometimes even the difficult parts of these relationships are God’s key way of growing me. Yet I’m part of a larger whole, a spiritual family, who share a faith, mission and purpose.
So who are your “people?” Can you point to a spiritual sibling or parent who is pouring into you? Do you need the challenge of leading someone spiritually younger or newer to faith? It might come at the cost of your comfort or your time, but the price is high if we don’t. Let this be the year we each prioritize spiritual family so Jesus can advance in us and each other.
I think this is a shared phenomenon. You may have just graduated from college and started your new job, wondering how to make friends as an adult. You might be single and all your friends are now married, wondering how you connect now that life stages have shifted. You might be busy with little kids from morning to night, wondering when you’ll get a chance to have an adult conversation. Or maybe you are working hard in a career that you are passionate about but the hours are a detriment to your relationships. Our spiritual development gets caught up in the midst of these relational challenges, in our busy schedules and priorities, so we fend for ourselves, duking it out as best we can to grow on our own.
In the midst of this, we have a culture that daily shouts about the value of independence, self-sufficiency and personal achievement at all costs. We hide behind these things, even saying we prefer it this way. We raise the white flag of defeat. “This is just how it is,” we think to ourselves. Then we wonder why we are feeling spiritually weak, vulnerable, discouraged or tempted.
It’s not supposed to be this way.
The truth is that we each desire to know and be known. It is built into our DNA. We are made for communion with God and with others. Through Jesus' perfect life, sacrificial death, and miraculous resurrection, the communion that was broken because of sin is now restored for those who believe. Communion with God, yes, but also with each other. And this beauty often gets ignored or diluted.
Through Christ, we are saved from sin and then placed into a spiritual family. That is the flow, the process, the order. We are now children of God, with spiritual siblings, parents and grandparents to whom we are spiritually tied to through faith. This is a tremendous gift that most of us don’t fully unwrap. We cling to our independence above all else.
Yet to become more like Jesus and grow as a disciple is a family endeavor. We are disciples in a family of disciples. God designed it this way because there are things we can only learn from one another.
Gratefully, I’ve begun to rebuild my spiritual community after being plateaued for longer than I’d like to admit. It’s given life to my discipleship journey that only a year ago felt brittle and dry.
There is Trinity, a student in BASM and someone I consider a younger spiritual sister, who boldly walked up to me one Sunday and asked to spend time with me. I get to be with her joyful self and learn how to love the next generation. Our time holds me accountable to my own walk and spiritual disciplines.
There is Alexis, a friend who asked questions about faith, which I explored with her and Pastor Shawn Hart. I’m learning how to listen, trust God, and see Shawn at work at answering big questions of life and faith. It’s challenging me to know more scripture, ask thoughtful questions, and pray. What a relief to also witness and rely on a spiritual brother to show me how it’s done.
There is Sarah and Michele, who met weekly with me for a year to talk about life and faith. We held each other's sorrows and joys, prayed together, read scripture, and drank a lot of coffee. I learned how to show up regularly, laugh together, and be vulnerable about my life.
I could talk about the old friends I’ve recently reconnected with whose very presence makes me feel seen by God. I could mention the older sister figures I have on staff who I go to when I need a prayer or a laugh.
Without these spiritual sisters, mothers, brothers, fathers, I would still feel spiritually weak and tired. I get to see Jesus in each of these people and be shaped more into His likeness through their faith walk. Sometimes even the difficult parts of these relationships are God’s key way of growing me. Yet I’m part of a larger whole, a spiritual family, who share a faith, mission and purpose.
So who are your “people?” Can you point to a spiritual sibling or parent who is pouring into you? Do you need the challenge of leading someone spiritually younger or newer to faith? It might come at the cost of your comfort or your time, but the price is high if we don’t. Let this be the year we each prioritize spiritual family so Jesus can advance in us and each other.