“Children feel safe and secure when their parents model a strong and thriving marriage. And to build a thriving marriage, parents must make time for each other.”
It is not unusual for marital satisfaction to decline after having children. While children enhance the lives of their parents with joy and love, they also shift the dynamics of the home and their parents’ relationship. Children put demands on a couple’s time, energy and finances and therefore these areas of life become limited. If spouses are not intentional about maintaining their relationship, they can slowly drift apart leading to a decline in marital satisfaction. So what can a couple do to guard against drift?
First and foremost they can recognize that the best gift they can give their children is a strong and thriving marriage. Children feel safe and secure when their parents model a strong and thriving marriage. And to build a thriving marriage, parents must make time for each other. I remember at each well baby visit, our pediatrician would ask my husband and I if we were taking time to date each week. He knew we would be better parents if we were maintaining our connection through dating. This was not easy to do, because we were tired and as new parents, we also felt guilty and concerned about leaving our sweet daughter. But we found that these dates gave us an opportunity to connect and we would return recharged and refreshed.
To do this, couples must communicate and commit. Work together to find the right time and rhythm to date. And then they must choose to remain intentional to go on that date, not allowing any excuses barring the apocalypse to dissuade them.
Children can also put a damper on intimacy. At the end of the day parents can be exhausted from the demands of parenthood. And if not exhausted, there is the constant potential for a sudden cry in the night or knock on the door. Couples can guard against this by planning for times of intimacy. Establishing regular rhythms for bedtime and setting boundaries for children in terms of when they can leave their room in the morning can allow parents to plan for times of intimacy. While the worldly thinking says that spontaneity is more romantic, planned sex can be extremely satisfying as couples anticipate their intimate rendezvous.
Finally, children increase the demand on the household budget and this can put a strain on a marriage. Couples can reduce this strain by planning together for their financial future. This includes choices about school, extracurricular activities for the children, vacations and college.
If at any time a married couple continues to struggle and begins to drift apart, seeking marital counseling is a recommended path to restoration.
Children are a blessing from God; a gift granted to parents to steward by nurturing them and raising them to embrace their identity in Jesus. This is hard work that can put pressure on a marriage. But with intentional planning and good resources, parents can give their children the gift of modeling a strong and thriving marriage.
First and foremost they can recognize that the best gift they can give their children is a strong and thriving marriage. Children feel safe and secure when their parents model a strong and thriving marriage. And to build a thriving marriage, parents must make time for each other. I remember at each well baby visit, our pediatrician would ask my husband and I if we were taking time to date each week. He knew we would be better parents if we were maintaining our connection through dating. This was not easy to do, because we were tired and as new parents, we also felt guilty and concerned about leaving our sweet daughter. But we found that these dates gave us an opportunity to connect and we would return recharged and refreshed.
To do this, couples must communicate and commit. Work together to find the right time and rhythm to date. And then they must choose to remain intentional to go on that date, not allowing any excuses barring the apocalypse to dissuade them.
Children can also put a damper on intimacy. At the end of the day parents can be exhausted from the demands of parenthood. And if not exhausted, there is the constant potential for a sudden cry in the night or knock on the door. Couples can guard against this by planning for times of intimacy. Establishing regular rhythms for bedtime and setting boundaries for children in terms of when they can leave their room in the morning can allow parents to plan for times of intimacy. While the worldly thinking says that spontaneity is more romantic, planned sex can be extremely satisfying as couples anticipate their intimate rendezvous.
Finally, children increase the demand on the household budget and this can put a strain on a marriage. Couples can reduce this strain by planning together for their financial future. This includes choices about school, extracurricular activities for the children, vacations and college.
If at any time a married couple continues to struggle and begins to drift apart, seeking marital counseling is a recommended path to restoration.
Children are a blessing from God; a gift granted to parents to steward by nurturing them and raising them to embrace their identity in Jesus. This is hard work that can put pressure on a marriage. But with intentional planning and good resources, parents can give their children the gift of modeling a strong and thriving marriage.