Changes in the family from joyful celebrations like marriage to challenging situations like loss and divorce can put a strain on family plans and challenge traditions. So how can we prepare to navigate the Christmas season so we do not implode?
We are just finishing up our series on the family, called Modern Family and we are heading into the Christmas season. As I think about the series, especially the sermon on “Wrinkles”, I am aware that planning for Christmas can be challenging. From managing the Christmas budget, to shopping, wrapping gifts, decorating the house, hosting and finalizing plans to gather with family and friends, there is a lot to do and many decisions to make. Add to that family conflict and losses and you have a potential powder keg of emotions ready to erupt. As beautiful as Christmas is depicted to be in the movies with a lovely celebration around the Christmas tree, reality can be much different. People are often stressed, rushed, anxious, lonely and even depressed. Changes in the family from joyful celebrations like marriage to challenging situations like loss and divorce can put a strain on family plans and challenge traditions. So how can we prepare to navigate the Christmas season so we do not implode?
There are a number of resources and articles that help with this. To sum these up, we suggest:
Communicate - Think about what is important to you and your family. This means you will have to learn or know about your spouse’s holiday traditions and their family’s expectations. Make a list of everything you want to do, including shopping, gift wrapping, decorating, hosting guests, visiting others, participating in other holiday events, going to church, etc. Then take a look at the list and prioritize based on what your family needs.
Simplify – Focus on the essential preparations that will allow you and your family to relax and enjoy the true meaning of the season. Think about cutting down on time consuming tasks so you have more time to spend with friends and family. (Pretty plates and napkins are perfectly acceptable alternatives to fine china that needs to be hand washed. Buffet service is as well!)
Establish clear expectations – Discuss and create agreed upon expectations of your schedule, tasks and meals with everyone who will be included in your holiday plans (including close and extended family and friends).
Guard your physical and emotional health – Set reasonable boundaries on your time and social engagements so you are not physically or emotionally depleted.
Remain flexible – Remember the greater the complexity of your plans, the more flexible you will need to be. As plans become more detailed and complex, it likely that you will have less control over the outcomes, so be willing to flex with unexpected interruptions and changes.
Finally, Remember what the Season is really about – Christ the Savior is born!
There are a number of resources and articles that help with this. To sum these up, we suggest:
Communicate - Think about what is important to you and your family. This means you will have to learn or know about your spouse’s holiday traditions and their family’s expectations. Make a list of everything you want to do, including shopping, gift wrapping, decorating, hosting guests, visiting others, participating in other holiday events, going to church, etc. Then take a look at the list and prioritize based on what your family needs.
Simplify – Focus on the essential preparations that will allow you and your family to relax and enjoy the true meaning of the season. Think about cutting down on time consuming tasks so you have more time to spend with friends and family. (Pretty plates and napkins are perfectly acceptable alternatives to fine china that needs to be hand washed. Buffet service is as well!)
Establish clear expectations – Discuss and create agreed upon expectations of your schedule, tasks and meals with everyone who will be included in your holiday plans (including close and extended family and friends).
Guard your physical and emotional health – Set reasonable boundaries on your time and social engagements so you are not physically or emotionally depleted.
Remain flexible – Remember the greater the complexity of your plans, the more flexible you will need to be. As plans become more detailed and complex, it likely that you will have less control over the outcomes, so be willing to flex with unexpected interruptions and changes.
Finally, Remember what the Season is really about – Christ the Savior is born!